I wannas sexs uuuuu
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
