Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize