ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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