This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
