it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Randomize
