I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
