Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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