you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
