you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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