Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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