It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i came on her dog
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
