You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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