He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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