she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
