He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
