I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
