fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
