He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
