i can't believe i had my finger in that
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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