Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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