i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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