worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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