So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize