Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
