i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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