i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
