I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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