So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
