I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
