no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
