don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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