Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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