it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
