apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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