Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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