my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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