you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
