Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Drake has all the answers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
