Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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