Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
