dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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