For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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