Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
