____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Did I show you my penis last night?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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