She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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