If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he shaved USA in his pubs
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize