In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
