Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
