There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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