Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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