Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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