i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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