Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
