Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
