you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
