boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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