my sisters under your porch take her home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
