he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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