Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
